Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places (Koshi)

Aoi walked along, his keen eyes scanning the streets... The weather turned chilly early this year and last week, the familiar itch started... At first it was just mild discomfort... Waking up in the morning with a hard-on, finding the kisses on TV way more arousing then he should... Things of that nature... But after just seven days the need is so fierce that he can only describe it as feeling like his blood is boiling just beneath his skin... The feeling is so strong that he feels like he wants to crawl out of his skin (Which to be fair when all of this is done, he'll go through his biannual molt and shed the outer layer of his skin)...

All that to say though, he just wants to fuck... He hasn't felt this needy in years... Even last year's heat wasn't this bad... He managed to deny himself last year, but this year it's just too much... He wants a male... he knows that much... But the only place to find the male professionals is either in the slums or the demon's side of town... Going to the demon's world is always a bad idea and always results in unnecessary trouble, but the whores in the slums aren't in the best of health... So in the end, it's better to come to the slums, despite the danger...

He did at least avoid the clubs... In the clubs, you never know if you're going to attract a demon that wants to EAT you, not your cock... So he's sulking the alleyways, looking as the people pass by... Demons and monsters out for a fun night... Humans looking to live on the edge... Professional companions... All types really, but thus far he hasn't seen anyone that appeals to him enough to make him want them to scratch his itch... The more the night goes on the, more he becomes agitated, his eyes looking at the passersby like they're some sort of meat for him to devour... He needs this so bad, but he needs the right person...

Spotting a smallish looking human, the predator in him quickly surmises that the boy is the perfect prey... Alone and trying to look at ease and like he belongs, the boy is clearly inexperienced, nervous, and submissive... Probably a human coming to the demon side of town for the first time, hoping to attract the high-paying clients that come to the demon side looking for supernatural sex... Young and nubile too... He'd likely last all night which was good for Aoi... The boy was quite attractive as well, which helped immensely and the beast inside Aoi agreed that this was the prey that he wanted... Quickly, Aoi started to slink out of the shadows, approaching the boy as stealthily as a big cat appearing from the jungle...

Amidst all the dank darkness and putrid smells, a sudden poof of white clouds dissipated on Aoi's left shoulder.

"Good evening, Aoi-kun! How are you today?"

A tiny voice chirped out, lush with a flutter of soft white wings.

"Have you had your dinner? My readings said you had! Too much beer too, oh no that's bad for you. Next time go easy on it okay?"

That voice belonged to the little creature left by the clouds on Aoi's shoulder, an angel no taller than a head, dressed in soft white pyjama pants and with a headful of messy wavy hair. It had a smile as shining as the sun and the halo was…uh…switched off right now. Flight mode. Yep. Don't want that same mistake the last time with Aki-kun.

"Where are we?"

The angel piped up as he clung onto Aoi's neck. The scent of burnt flesh and sweat and sin…this was hell. The poor angel curled up a bit. Out of the pot and into the frying pan. Why does the Big Boss always assign the troublemakers to him?!

Sigh.

"Aoi-kun. This is a bad place to be. We should get going now, and you really should leave the poor innocent boy alone. You'll regret it in the morning!"

Ahem.

"What would your Ma say?!"

Lowblow!

You know its bad when a small winged man in pajamas appears on your shoulder and starts talking you, and it doesn't phase you in the slightest... Tilting hisbhesd slightly to observe the creature, Aoi played the shoulder devil part just fine on his own "is it really so bad? I'll take him home, make him squeal for more, pay him handsomely and scare him enough to make sure he never comes back here... Think avoit it... Aren't I the least frightening thing that could take him home tonight? What if a true demon found him instead? They would take him home and fuck him raw and then eat his heart besides... At least I will make sure he lives to see tomorrow..."

Licking his lips and turning to watch the boy again with his black eyes, Aoi inhaled and said "just smell that... How ready he is... And just a little afraid... It's delicious..."

Sticking out his tongue, Aoi savored the nuances of the boys scent before saying crudely "my mother is probably begging my father to stick it in her... We all go through this... She just has a readily available partner... I have to get creative.."

Albeit, dragons in healthy relationships suffer these symptoms alot less... Even those wwithout mates usually have close friends or trusted partners to couple with... Aoi didnt have that, ane after skipping last year, he's feeling the affects stronger and sooner then anyone else... Looking to the little angel, he said with a slight hiss, "listen little sparrow... I need this... So one way or another, it's going to happen... How it happens is your choice... If you want me to let the whore go, then you had best have a replacement in mind... Perhaps you'd like to take his place?"

Facepalm. Right, so the Lowblow didn't work. The angel realised he needed to re-study the book on DragonFlies again. He cleared his throat and snuck a peek to the other side of the shoulder. Hrm, no need for that one to be around.

Aoi's hiss scared him a little bit, the poor thing inching away from the neck. All that vivid description in explicit detail.

"Is that necessary?"

He wheedled a little whilst wringing his hands. Cold sweat was starting to course down that tiny brow.

"But Aoi-kun, you did fine earlier, and you did well last year. Keep to it and your patience will be well-rewarded. That boy's lost for now but he has his purpose here. Don't cut his path and let him find his own way out. Fate may be cruel but it always rewards the virtuous."

The little angel started tugging on Aoi's sleeve.

"Come on, Aoi-kun. You told yourself earlier that you should have been home an hour ago. It's too late now to be wandering around in such a…uh, questionable neighbourhood. Let's go home, a good hot shower and some meditation would do you good."

Tug-tug tuggity tug!

Beads of perspiration were coming out from the poor little thing.

Aoi looked at the angel with narrow eyes and said, "I thought you guys were supposed to know US like we know ourselves... When have I ever meditated?"

Looking back towards the sstreet Aoi groaned... The boy was hopping into a car already... Irritated that he had lost his prey due to the distraction, he whirled his aattention on the angel and said softly, his voice hissing again, "I hate that saying... What rewards do people get for being good? There is no rewards system it's all luck and favoritism...If god wants to reward me so much for not ffucking the twinkle how about he make this burning stop? I haven't slept in a week... Everything feels like it's burning... I don't want to eat..."

The whole set of the dragonfly's body was tense, like a coiled spring and his tfailed whipped back and forth violently as he started to pace in the alley, causing rata to scramble out of the reptiles way... Slithering his tongue out, he curled it around the small angel to taste him and said softly "or are you the reward? Are you going to tmake the boy's place? Or just nag me all night until I go home to stare at the cieling and sweat for another night?“

Deep down Aoi knew the angel was right... But at the moment his body was fighting his head and the result was and extremely irritable lizard... Picking up the angel by the nape and holding him front of his face, Aoi locked his flat black eyes with the angel and said "So... Are you going to give me any helpful advice tonight other then holistic, spiritual garbage and vague promises of non existent rewards?"

"Meditation comes in many different forms, Aoi-kun. Sleeping is a form of meditation, so is dreaming. As long as your mind works towards a certain goal while it rests, it is meditation."

The little one explained patiently. He looked very relieved when the poor boy slipped into a car, and prayed that one of his other selves was doing fine with that boy too. His tiny cheeks flushed at the reptile's accusation though. As much as he'd like to prove it wrong, Aoi was right. In every organisation there was always luck, favouritism and chance at play, and Celestial Inc. was the biggest corporation ever in existence. Ever since people started investing their time and money, corruption began weaving its way through the foundations like creeper vines. Churches got bigger, masses became grander, worshippers grew richer. Every one so often, someone would be forgotten in the bigger scheme of things and they fall through the Holy grasp like sand between fingers.

Yet most of them still remained good as a whole and wanted the best not just for mankind, but for all in existence. The shoulder angel looked rather sad for a moment, his hands clasped together and his head bowed even with his nape being seized. He dangled beneath Aoi's fingers, wings drooped and eyes sorrowful when their gaze finally met.

"They do exist, Aoi-kun, they are as real as you and me but at the same time you are right. Rewards are few and far in between."

That slender tongue tickled him all over, causing his ears to flush a deep red. Small as he was, he tasted sweet like fresh spring water and morning dew after the rain.

"Yet the real reward is one only you can give yourself."

It was enlightenment. Peace. Something even Gods are unable to grant if the receiver is unwilling to accept it.

"Let's return home, Aoi-kun. No one will take that boy's place. No one should."

Aoi growled and said "are you deaf as well as blind? I would gladly sleep if I could... But the gods seem determined to deny me relief of any kind, sexual or sleep..."

Sneering and putting the angel back on his shoulder, Aoi started to wander, his eyes scanning the streets... Too weak, too old, too demonic... As he walked something tastd cloying in his mouth and he faltered, spitting on the ground and noticing the slightly yellow color to his spit... Growling and swearing, Aoi grumbled "great... Now I'm leaking venom..."

Cursing his luck and the little chicken shit on his shoulder, Aoi started home "and since you clearly know absolutely nothing about me, I'm going home to milk... If I ducked someone like this I'd likely kill them... After I milk, maybe you can at least do something useful and keep me company instead of chirping about morality and doing right being its own reward..."

As he walked, Aoi felt like he was ready to explore both physically and emotionally... He was physically drained from holding back, and emotionally he wanted to both cry and scream... It felt like all he had wanted was some goddam relief and then his conscience had to step in and deny him that... "can I at least drink some more tonight? Maybe sleep a little tonight?"

As he passed out of the demon side of town into the neutral territory, Aoi grumbled, "Nevermind.... Stupid question... Of course I can't... That might actually feel good and I know how the almighty feels about pleasure... Have to be good and behave all the time, but never actually get anything good back from it... Just an eternity of self-denial for absolutely nothing..."

A wave of relief coursed through the little one as he was placed back on his ward's shoulder…but it was on the wrong side. Looking around him in fears of the right shoulder consuming him in flames and righteous fury, the angel wavered between staying there and crawling back. What if he turn into a devil instead? This wasn't written in the rulebooks!! When nothing happened though, the tiny thing gave in and sat down right where he was.

"Home's good."

He beamed a little but realised his happiness was short-lived upon looking up at his ward. Aoi was in absolute misery, and it was he who caused it.

"…Aoi-kun…"

An anvil with the word GUILT embossed on it fell onto the little angel's head. THONK!

"Let's go home first and see what we can do."

He silently promised to help as much as he can.

Remaining silent as he walked home, Aoi muttered an irritated salutation to his neighbors and walked in the front door going right to the kitchen and grabbing a cup from the kitchen... He stretches a small latex disk over the cup and then says in a defeated tone, "Excuse me..."

Lifting the cup, Aoi extended his fangs, the yellow liquid seeping from the tips as he presses them through the latex and focuses on ejecting it... As he waited patiently, the venom dripped into the glass, filling about half way before finally stopping... Pulling out of the latex, Aoi sighed and labeled the jar with a piece of tape with the date and his name before sticking it in the fridge and grabbing one of several jugs of water...

Taking the jug into the bedroom with him, Aoi stripped off his shirt, placed the jug on his nightstand and then shut off the light, laying back on the bed, not even bothering to get under the covers... Within just a few moments of closing his eyes, it starts... The visions... The fantasies... As the thoughts fill his head, his body starts to sweat and his breath starts to quicken as his heart races... Being a cold blooded creature, heat feels amazing... The hotter the better in fact... But even for a reptile this heat is too much...

Even with the air cranked up in the room, his body feels like it's burning from the inside out and he reaches over taking a long drink of the icy water before setting it down and closing his eyes with a whine... "It hurts... I can't sleep... I'm too hot to sleep and nothing helps..."

The front of his pants were already stretched tight, so he just unzips his pants and lays there, everything just hanging out in the open, hard and heavy... Aoi closed his eyes again and laid on the bed, splayed out so that no skin touches skin... It's a small relief but at least it's something... Breathing in and out slowly as sweat poured from his skin, Aoi tried hard to ignore it, but it seemed impossible... Under him, even the sheets are making him hotter and he whimpers again, "I don't even know your name... What the hell is your name? It's only fair since I know your name..."

The journey home was surprisingly on foot. Watching the neighbourhood lighten from something seedy to a decent area made his mood lift. At least Aoi was doing okay after independence from his parents. The little one had his neck craned when the door to the reptile's own apartment clicked open.

Mixed and matched furniture, mostly second-hand, the angel couldn't help but have his heart swell with pride. This was a home made from scratch and even though it boasted of little, it was built with effort. He saw stacks of CDs and movies and posters and things…and even an electric guitar that looked polished and well taken care of despite it being very much used.

There was so much love in every little corner he spied. The angel looked on as the milking process started, watching the handwriting scrawled across the masking tape and he peered into the fridge that was well-stocked with beer. The other identical jars clinked along before the scenery changed to Aoi's bedroom. It was darker in there and cooler too, an ideal setting for a serpent's chosen place of rest. Poor Aoi looked even more miserable when he stripped down to crawl back into bed. The angel watched on as his ward took a long draft of water and then some.

"I'm sorry, Aoi-kun."

And he really was.

Gathering his reserves, the little angel fluttered off Aoi's shoulder to make for the kitchen, opening the fridge with much struggle. After a bit of distant clanking, he returned with wobbly flight, carrying a bagful of ice cubes. He placed it on Aoi's chest with a tiny wheeze.

"I'm Koshi, Aoi-kun…and I'm really sorry to have come so late. I should have been around for your 10th birthday party…."

The cloud kingdoms were painfully understaffed and poor Koshi had problems keeping up with the many wards he had to look after. With overpopulation worsening matters and the triumph of evil over good, he found that silver linings came rarer than the inevitable reward after a good deed.

Koshi settled down by Aoi's side, placing a tiny hand on that feverish brow.

"Just close your eyes for a moment and don't think about anything."

Or if you must, think of something good. Something beautiful…and I can tap into that belief for the better of everything.

Aoi cracked an eye open and looked at the angel, then the bag of ice on his chest before smiling a bit in spite of himself... Reaching up and moving the ice over his chest a little bit, he sighs at the coldness before saying softly, "Koshi huh? Well... I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I'm pretty sure you're about 13 years late for that party..."

Laughing and then pausing he whispered, "Hikaru kissed Ami on the cheek... Right after I told him that I liked her... I was so mad... God I punched him so hard... I guess you being MIA would explain that..."

Exhaling softly, Aoi closed his eyes and tried to think about nothing, but the visions were so vibrant... Every time his mind cleared, the visions would come back and he'd swallow softly, "Koshi I'm sorry... I can't keep them from coming... Everytime I close my eyes they come..."

Trembling a little he keeps trying, but the effort makes him even hotter... He feels so miserable, a few tears stream from his eyes and he tilts his head to look at the angel, he lifts his hand to touch the angel's face and whispers softly, "I'm sorry... For all the shit I said earlier today... I know to do right, and I try to do it, even without the rewards... I don't do good to get rewards... But this... It just grates on me... I did so good last year, but this is different... I can barely keep myself sane... and I can't even sleep to pass the time..."

"Thirteen years? Goodness…it's been that long, ne."

The angel smiled as his tiny hand touched that memory from Aoi's brow. Seeing the reptile as a child again was wonderful in itself. The betrayal and wistfulness that came along was its spicy seasoning. He brushed that memory away to look at others, some far more distant and some barely past that the colours have yet to fade from each flickering scene.

He tried to soothe with his next gentle touch and still the dragon quaked. Tears came freely like the rivulets of sweat on the damp bedding. Koshi caught a drop in his hand and found it was made of loneliness. His eyes slowly slid shut.

From beyond the building facade, a glow of warm white light flushed through the open windows of a single apartment. Curtains billowed when the light faded away, only to reveal lush white feathers so soft and powdery white that it surrounded the room with its pure presence. In place of the tiny being was a man bathed in the warm glow of the morning sun. He was still clad in pyjama pants but the rest of his tanned frame was sculpted and beautiful. Inscriptions of Hope were carved on his muscled arms and around his belly button a crown of the sun. Tousled hair swept about his handsome brow to frame a set of eyes made of pure marble, and those eyes looked on sadly. He scooped the dragon up with hands so gentle and loving that with his embrace the unbearable heat was gone, only to be replaced by a warmth that touched from within.

"Naked as you are."

Koshi whispered softly into an ear as his huge wings wrapped around the dragon.

There are to be no more visions, no more desires but the soft sweet calm of his breathing entwined.

Smiling a bit and leaning into the soft touch, amazed that the small area that the angel was touching felt cool and soothed... He was half delirious at this point, so when the room filled with light and the scent of sun kissed skin, he was convinced this was just another elaborate fantasy brought about by lack of sleep and too much desire...

He was mildly surprised his fantasy had brought him a dom though... He had been craving a sub... When he's lifted into those arms though, he looks surprised, his body starting to tremble as he realizes this isn't him coming unhinged... Or maybe it is and he's further gone then he thought... Either way he looks a bit scared and he shyly questions "koshi? You got uh... Bigger..."

Flinching when the wings close around him, expecting them to be hot on his skin... But instead of discomfort, the burning disappears... It feels like being snuggled under cool, clean sheets... Kind of smells like it too actually, but that's beside the point... Even in his fear, he tears up looking relieved and whispers softly, "thank you... Thank you so much..."

And with a soft sigh he leans on the angel, closes his eyes and drifts straight to sleep... Tomorrow will be another tough day, but at least he'll face it well rested... He doesn't imagine for a second the angel will come back... On one hand he's a figment of Aoi's imagination, on the other he has better people to worry about... But for the moment he feels safe and relieved enough to sleep and that makes him happy...

As he sleeps on the angel, he relaxes looking more innocent... More his own age... Old enough to be an adult but young enough to be a child... His mouth opens slightly and little snoring sounds came out and he balled his fists against the angel's chest, curling up tighter... Supernatural or not, by the time Aoi is done getting hi elf comfortable, koshi will have a hard time escaping... The dragon even manage to wrap his tail around the angel's thigh as though to make sure he didn't escape...

Each precious tear was brushed away by fingers so warm and tender.

"Shh…"

As Aoi's memories of all two decades weave into his mind, a tiny silver ribbon caught the angel's eye and he pulled at it to unravel a simple sweet lullaby.


"Hush now, my baby, the daylight is done
Your scales catching moonlight instead of the sun
So lay down your head, till the dawn comes anew
For here there be dragons to watch over you

Dream now my baby, of life in the clouds
Your head held so high and your wings so proud
For I know a secret I promise is true
Here there be dragons and they are you

Thirteen years was a long time to wait
But I knew you'd get here, I knew it was fate
But sometimes a dragon takes longer to birth
Because to create them it takes the whole earth

Within you the fires of Africa glow
The East Asian winds and Scandinavian snow
The mountains, the forests, the rivers, the skies
The whole of creation is there in your eyes."


Koshi sang it softly and he sang it true, keeping the youth so close to his heart as he poured out all the blessings that he could give, woven into the spell of this one song.


"Hush now, my baby and dream how you will
You have your whole life for your dreams to fulfill
And don't be afraid of the things you dream of
For here there be dragons below and above."


Beautiful, beautiful boy.

He pressed a gentle kiss to that forehead, combing through soft damp locks after placing the sleeping dragon on the bed. That tail was carefully eased away, the ice placed by the bedside stand and the covers pulled over that prone form.

"Good night Aoi-kun."

Good night.

As the last of his powers were spent, the angel faded away from the room in a kiss of evening breeze, leaving nothing behind but a single pure white feather.

When Aoi did wake the next morning, he felt rested and while there was still a little bit of desire in his heart, the physical symptoms seemed gone finally... Sweeping his hand over his head and brushing his hair back, he tried to piece the events of the previous night together... He was looking for a fuck buddy in the demon's side of town... He'd found someone but then something... No someone told him now... Who was it?

Sitting bolt up right, he puts his hand on his shoulder and looks around with a quizzical expression, as though wondering maybe he'll spot the little fellow somewhere in a corner... "Kami... Kaoru... Kazuya... Kouki... KOSHI! That was it! Koshi? Koshi are you there?"

Feeling more then a bit retarded for calling out to a being that was probably just a figment of his imagination, Aoi side and shook his head, saying to himself "You're loosing it Aoi... Just face the facts... You're a nutter..."

It couldn't have been real... Shoulder angels and devils were just crazy... Who the fuck would believe him anyway? They were just little images made up so that kids could have a visual reference of their own conscience... Know that doing good and doing bad are choices and your own mind will present evidence for each option of every choice you face... But it had seemed SO real... He could remember the sound of the angel's voice... The feel of his skin... Even the scent and taste of him.. How could he have such vivid memories of something that didn't exist?

All of this is going through his head when he looks over and spots the open window... This is a decent area of a town, but he still lives in a city... You don't sleep with your windows wide open... Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, Aoi started to get up to go close them when he spotted something on the floor in the sunlight... A single white feather... Standing up and leaning down to grab the feather, Aoi picked it up and ran it between his fingers... At first he said to himself, "It was just a pigeon......"

Looking at the size of the feather, Aoi muttered, "A pigeon the size of a fucking pterodactyl..."

Not only was the size uncharacteristic, but so was the color... Sure there were white birds plenty of white birds... But not this kind of white... This feather would make a swan look brown by comparison... Shaking his head and putting the feather in his desk draw with his own prized possessions, Aoi said softly, "Well... I'll be a monkey's uncle... I have a guardian angel..."

Looking mildly uncomfortable at speaking to an unknown entity, Aoi said softly, his eyes shifting back and forth, "Thanks... for the sleep..."

As Aoi went about his day, he kept humming "Hush little baby" wondering why the hell he had the song stuck in his head...

The end...

(OR IS IT!?)